Title something to do with

Mom, can I have some milk?

Of course.

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t

Brachiosaurus!

haven’t blogged in a month. Well, it’s because

Two!

because we move

Rectangles!

moved.

three-ee-ee

Super Shapes! For flashlight

We moved and Finn can’t enroll in school. Baltimore county has

No…no…no..

really

Yes! That’s him!

Really strict rules about enrollment because  their schools are so good. (Gets up to find paper work to provide supporting evidence)

Hey, Mom, his hands are popcorn seeds

They’re popcorn seeds?

See? Did you see?

I can’t find the papers, but you have to prove where you live. A lease won’t do, a mortgage won’t do. A contract on a house definitely will not do. (Contracts can be broken.) You have to show three pieces of mail addressed to you at the address you’re trying to use to enroll your kid.

Hey mom, Stegosaurus, stegosaurus

So, today, I am conducting an art project. I am showing you in real time what it’s like when I sit down to do

Two down, two more to go.

When I sit down

Two down two to go or is it one down one to go

When I sit down to do anything. Anything other than sit and stare at Finn and wait for whatever he may ask me to do or listen to or see or say. We take walks with the dogs, of course, and his dad takes him swimming every evening, and he has two hours of tutoring at Sylvan learning center four days a week so his brain won’t rot.

They all got a problem. Mom. Why don’t they just use the elevator?

I don’t know.

So, if I don’t answer, it gets louder and more insistenter. And he can't go where we just bought a house because we're just under contract and he can't go to the school by the hotel because

Rowf! Rowf! (Dogs barking at maids vacuuming outside our door.)

He should be careful with his skates, Mom. Pink yellow, yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow, yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow, yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow, yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow, yellow. Pink yellow yellow. Pink yellow yellow.

Finn, please stop.

I type 90-110 wpm, so I can pretty much capture everything. I thought about recording this and putting it online, but I don’t want anyone seeing my fat ass on video for the rest of my life. Speaking of my fat ass, I had planned to use the exercise equipment here at the hotel to its fullest extent but that was before I knew that Finn wouldn’t be allowed in school. 

Oh, yeah, that’s what I was telling you. So we got a PO Box and started changing our bills over to that. But the phone and the

Rooaarr. What's a dick?

What?

She called them dicks.

She did not. This is a kid's show. A dick is another name for a penis and mom uses that work when she's mad when she's driving and she should not and she's very sorry. Don't ever say that. And she did not say that.

The phone and the bank will not accept a PO Box and that’s the only bills we have right now. And his job, the job we moved here for? They keep sending stuff to our Arizona address. But I think we might have that

Agh! Give me that! (Finn’s playing with my super sharp scissors that are usually kept in my craft basket and why they are not there I do not know.)

Licked. I’m hoping that I can show them two pieces of mail addressed to the hotel and one pices to the PO Box. Oh, and I’m going to cry.

Don’t get me wrong, I rather enjoy taking him all around Baltimore. And I’m still not over thinking I’m going to die, so this

Do you like Olivia?

Yes, I love Olivia.

I love her too. Well, I like her. We should get that pirate ship.

So this is actually pretty precious time for me. But…do you know what I’m saying? I can’t take him downtown every day. I’ve *got* to do laundry today. Each of us have one clean t-shirt. Finn has no clean

I feel light headed. Mom, I feel lightheaded.

Really? Huh.

(He heard the phrase on some show the other day and he’s been experimenting with it since. I have not yet said, “You feel lightheaded? Oh, I’ll make you feel lightheaded” Performs the Homer Simpson

Please get your fingers out of your mouth.

OK, well. That’s all the energy I have for this task. Gotta get this laundry going.

Can I have that? 

What are you going to do with a pink skateboarding girl doll? Get that off! I am not watching Spongebob Squarepants.

Rowf!

(I attest that everything in this blog is true and occurred exactly like this between 11:45 and 12:11, Tuesday, November 15, 20011.)